3 Key Lessons Learned from My Mom and Dad
“Are you ok sai lo (little son)”
“I’m ok - I hit my head on the ice and got a small bump”
“I’m coming to you right now”
“Thanks baba”
When I was a kid, my parents were always there for me. If something happened, they would drop everything they were doing and make sure I was ok. At an early age, their love for me and others taught me key values that I hold onto to this day. I believe these values have helped me build a strong foundation for me to find strength when facing challenges at work and in life.
Here are 3 simple but key principles I live by that I learned from them:
If you do good work, good things will happen.
My mom worked two jobs as a physical therapist: one at a hospital and one at a retirement home. During the school holidays or the summer, she would take me and my brother to both jobs. “Your mom is a life saver”. “Your mom is so sweet”. Although she wasn’t the best at communicating with her patients because of her English, I remember her patients loved her because she would take her time with each patient until their issues were resolved. She would never cut corners and be straightforward with her patients. For example, she helped a quadriplegic patient who got injured in a motorcycle accident learned how to walk again after 12 months of rehabilitation by creating a list of exercises and steps he needed to do every day and would adjust the program every week if there was something different in his movements.
I learned this later in my life but my mom actually lost her job when I was in high school and she was lucky enough to find another job because of referrals from her previous coworkers and managers.
Stability is a blessing. The best way to guarantee stability is to do good work and people will recognize that and that will open up to more opportunities in the future.
Love your neighbor as yourself
My family is Cantonese and Christian and we went to church every Sunday. We learned in Sunday school to treat your neighbor as yourself. More importantly, the actions of the people served as a better example for me. Church members would help one another whether it’s helping others babysit their kids or sharing resources and extracurriculars that helped their kids get ahead in academics or sports. They also had job assistance programs for those who immigrated to America such as ESL lessons.
My community has helped me so much throughout my adolescence and without them, I wouldn’t be where I am. At church and in my community, this sense of inclusiveness and helping others for the sake of lifting up others inspires me to do my best work and work beyond just a paycheck or status. As I get older, I value the mindset my parents had which is to prioritize your relationship with God, your family, and your friends.
Don’t compromise your values
My parents for better or worse haven’t changed their core values or principles. I disagree with them on many things especially when it comes to politics. Nevertheless, I respect that they stand true to their values and principles and lead through their actions.
Whatever your value system is, I think it’s important to not change that and follow through with your actions especially when opportunities of convenience come your way.
I think the biggest temptation in life is to compromise your principles to make others feel better or to “fit in”. I’ve lived in NYC for almost a year and I’ve met a lot of different people.I’ve felt tempted to stay with a person or a group of people because of the sense of belonging. I once went out with a group of people who were friends with one of my close friends. Early on in the evening, I realized all they cared about and talked about were drinking a lot and how to basically use people which was personally against my values. So I left early. I’m glad I did because I felt less stressed out and felt like I dodged a bullet from being potentially influenced by them.